This week's photo- Night market, Laos

I love night markets! Night markets are perfect for getting souvenirs and stuff for the folks back home, it's also nice to just walk around in one if you're not in the mood to visit yet another club. I spied these lovely creepy crawlies in a market in Luang Prabang, Laos. As best as I could, I asked the man selling them what they were supposed to do and he pointed to himself, flexed his right arm in the classic 'bodybuilder' pose and gave me not one, but two thumbs up and winked at me. Okay, I think I get you.

Getting rid of first-time travel jitters

I remember the first time I travelled alone- I was scared, excited, nervous, convinced that I would be getting into trouble but absolutely sure that it was something I had to do, no matter what.

Ten years later, I have no regrets taking that first leap and would never have had it any other way.

Here are my tips for women who are contemplating travelling solo but are a little unsure whether they should:

1- Start small

Everyone wants to start off with a bang, but I would suggest that your first solo trip be somewhere in your own country, preferably to a place you've never been to or have only been to as a child- this way, the trip will still be exciting and different.

The purpose of of travelling within your country but in unfamiliar territory is that it will be a combination of being out of your comfort zone yet not entirely foreign because you'll still be speaking your language and using your currency. You can move on to more challenging countries later but for now, what's important is that you build your confidence and courage.

2- Do your homework

The main reason why people feel nervous about travelling alone is because they're unprepared. They worry about basic things like how to use public transport and whether it'll be safe to walk at night. There's a very simple solution to this- do a whole lot of reading about the city/country you're going to. Compile contact numbers of your embassy or high commission, nearby 24-hour hospitals and emergency services.

Don't forget to do a Google search on local customs, dangerous places to avoid (night and day) and how to avoid unwanted male attention. You'll feel more confident after you equip yourself with this information, guaranteed.

3- Reassure the folks at home

My parents needed a whole lot of convincing before I left on my first trip, which is to be expected. What's important is that you mustn't get discouraged or have second thoughts when they ask questions like, "Do you really have to go alone?" or "Can't you find anyone to go with you?".  Instead, reassure them that because you've done a lot of reading, you'll be okay.

What I normally do is to text them as soon as I arrive at my destination and again later after I've checked in. After that, I send emails or text messages every two days not only to tell them that I'm still alive but also to prove to them that I really can look after myself. If you can reassure them that you're capable of travelling alone, they won't doubt you and you won't have any reason to doubt yourself.

4- No, you won't be alone

If you're worried that you won't meet anyone and won't make any new friends, don't. There's never been a country I didn't visit where I didn't meet fellow travellers. You'll never be the only traveller in the country you're in (if you are, that's a sure sign you need to get out of there fast), so get ready to exchange email addresses and postcards.

Be warned, of course, that just like in everyday life, you'll meet all sorts of people on your travels. Your own common sense should tell you whom you can trust. If your instincts tell you to avoid a particular person, listen to them and find a new friend. 

5- Will I be all right?

Yes, you will be, if you do the following:

(i) avoid dangerous areas, which you'll discover from your research;

(ii) stay in at night unless you're with a group of people you've learnt to trust; and

(iii) keep note of the last bus or Metro service so that you know when to start heading back to your hostel.

It also makes perfect sense not to:

(iv) wear flashy, expensive accessories (jewellery and watches);

(v) flash your money or credit card(s) about and

(vi) carry expensive-looking bags. Sometimes one of those woven shopping bags will do just fine.

At all times: Keep your senses about you and be aware of your surroundings. If you think you're being followed, walk towards the nearest group and hang around them for a while.

So should I go, or what?

Yes, young lady, you should. Go. I did.

*This article originally appeared here on August 23, 2011.

Tips for a great road trip

I'm a great fan of solo travel but I also enjoy travelling with friends. Looking for travel mates for short, one-week breaks shouldn't be too difficult but if you're talking about road trips or anything longer than two weeks, you're allowed to be more selective than usual. 

Remember that because you'll be spending weeks, maybe months, with this group of people, day in and day out, it makes sense to keep a few things in mind:

1-  Please, please pick someone you actually like

You don't have to be close friends with them, but you should actually like them enough to want to spend time with them. If you cannot stand being with someone for more than 10 minutes, you're looking for trouble by going on a road trip with him.

2- Be nice

Remember: it works both ways, so you need to work at being a good travel mate as well. Don't be difficult; if your friend prefers to drive early in the morning, let him. Don't expect everything to work out as planned and be prepared for your trip to be delayed by things like bad weather, a car breakdown and -okay then- a really bad hangover. In other words, don't be a pain in the butt. 

3- Divide your duties

Making sure that everyone is responsible for something may sound unnecessary, but it isn't. I've been on trips where one single person made all the decisions-food, accommodation, date of travel, destinations. You'll be happy in the beginning because you'll think that a load has been taken off your hands, but you'll get resentful when you finally realise that you have no say in anything at all. When someone else is calling the shots, it becomes his road trip, not yours. Everyone needs to be in charge of something.

4- Use the Net

There are a whole bunch of resources on the internet relating to road trips. Use Travelmath to calculate travel time and distance and Google Maps for routes. For our drive around America, we looked at RoadTrip America and Road Trip USA for ideas, but there are obviously loads of other sites you can use. If you're planning a road trip in the US, look out for options to deliver a vehicle from your location to another city, ie. to 'driveaway' a car for free, and design your road trip along that route. We did exactly that, and delivered a car for a woman in Los Angeles to her daughter in Boston. Have a look here for more information.

5- Be familiar with the route beforehand

This tip sounds like a no-brainer but its one of the most important. Bearing in mind the large distances you might be covering, always keep track of how much gas you have and where the next town is- you don't want to be out of gas, at night, and 200 miles away from the next gas station. Try to fill up your tank whenever you see a gas pump because you don't know how far away the next one will be. This is particularly important, for example, in large, spread-out states like Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.

A road trip is one of the best ways to get to know a country. You pass through small towns and get to see places you normally wouldn't if you were on a tour or travelling by train. If you ever get the chance to do a road trip with a good bunch of mates, go.

This week's photo- Abba poster, Frankfurt

I had a 10-hour layover in Frankfurt a few years back so I decided to leave the airport and take a walk (and a bus) into town for the heck of it. Not quite sure where this was exactly but I saw this poster on one of the walls. Abba rocks!!

How impulsive is solo travel? Not really, actually

Whenever I tell my friends and family that I'm planning another solo trip, they always react as though it's the most impulsive thing to do. I imagine that this is the scenario in their heads: I'm working late in the office, there are piles of stories to go through and I'm starving from lack of food when all of a sudden, I erupt and scream at the top of my lungs: "I'm sick of this shit!! I'm booking a flight out next week!"

Nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone who's done a fair bit of travelling by themselves will know that there's nothing impulsive about it. It may take a single thought to spark off another trip but the fact is that many people who love to travel can spend months planning and mulling over the details.

If it's a straightforward one-week trip in roughly one area, there won't be much to read up on. But if it's a long-haul overland or round the world trip, important issues such as routes, visas and where the best/most scenic/baksheesh-free border crossings are, will arise. It's this part of the planning which I truly enjoy and tend to spend the most time on.

My main concern when I travel is always safety, so I normally do a lot of research on places to avoid and whatever security issues there are in the countries I'm going to. If I feel that the current political situation is going to make things worse, then I ditch that country and decide on another, and the whole process starts all over again.

What I find most ironic is that trips which seem the most impulsive, the ones where you drop-everything-and-leave always require the most amount of planning. If you're taking more than 12 months off, for example, among the questions you'll need to ask are whether you should sell your house or quit your job, or both. And if you're selling, where are you going to stay when you get back?

So although people think those who love to travel alone are a brave and impulsive bunch, we aren't really, are we. There's a whole lot of planning involved....but don't tell them that.

This week's photo- Cappadocia, Turkey

Taken on a hike in Rose Valley, Cappadocia. A hot air balloon ride would've been great, but there were strong winds that day, so all flights had to be cancelled. The hike was still worth it, though.

Chat-up lines in 15 languages

Yes, there really is a way for you to learn chat-up lines and other "raunchy phrases" in more than 15 languages:

This is a really funny book which I bought for the heck of it (Really). The book is divided into chapters depending on the circumstances and what you're trying to say -'Basic Chat-Up Lines', 'Date', 'Foreplay' and 'The Morning After', for example.

The old-fashioned yet comes-across-as-sincere-and-friendly, "Do you come here often?", for instance, is 'Tu viens ici souvent?' in French, 'Vieni spesso qui?' in Italian and 'Kommer du hit ofta?' in Swedish.

If you think that's just too lame for you, try 'Ist es hier warm, oder bist du nur heiß?'  if you happen to be in Germany ("Is it hot in here, or is it just you?").

Under 'Advanced Chat-Up Lines', there's the smooth "Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?" which translates as 'Oltre ad assere sexy, che lavoro fai?' (Italian), 'Wat doe je voor de kost, behalve sexy zijn?' (Dutch) and 'Aparte de a ser sexy, ¿a que te dedicas?' (Spanish). If you try this, remember to raise one eyebrow and stare intently into your subject for full effect.

The cringe-worthy yet hilarious "Come to me, lady, and me slay you with my sword of love," is 'Allez ma belle, laisse-moi te transpercer avec mon epay d'amour'. I took French and I can tell you that 'transpercer' also means 'to pierce' or skewer. Ouch. Doesn't sound like fun.

Equivalents have also been thoughtfully provided in German: 'Komm zu mir, edles Fräulein, und lass dich von meinem Schwert der Liebe erlegen' and Czech: 'Pojd' ke mně, má dámo, a dovol mi, abych tě st'al svým mečem lásky'.

The all-important "Will you untie me now, please?" is translated as 'Elli di plis ddatod fi nawr?' in Welsh and 'Quer desata-me agora?' in Portuguese.

Other laugh-out-loud moments: "Now keep the rhythm by singing 'Dancing Queen'"- 'Ahora, para no perder el ritmo, canta 'Dancing Queen'' (Spanish) and 'Og hold sa rytmen ved at synge 'Dancing Queen' '(Danish), "I'll post the handcuff keys when I get home"- 'Ti invio per posta le chiavi delle manette appena torno a casa' (Italian) and "Quick, my wife/husband! Into the cupboard!" - 'Fort! Min hustru/mann! In i garderaben!' (Swedish).  

Try and get your hands on this one- whether it's simply for a good laugh or if you really intend to have sex in every city. Also available on Kindle.

The Seniwati Art Gallery, Bali

If you're a male artist wanting to make it big in Bali, there's one art gallery that will never accept your work no matter how talented you are. Not now, not ever. You're just not their type. 

The Seniwati Gallery of Art for Women has an all-female staff and an atmosphere more cosy than that of Ubud's other galleries, but the main thing that sets it apart is that it only features the work of women artists.

When I met her on a recent visit to the island, gallery founder and director Mary Northmore told me why women artists in Bali needed an art gallery specially for themselves. 

"Balinese women artists are invisible," she said, quite simply.

Mary should know what she's talking about - she used to be an English teacher in Hong Kong but she's lived in Bali for the past 27 years and is the widow of the celebrated Indonesian artist Abdul Aziz.

"The reason I first got involved was because of my husband's work and because we lived in Ubud. I thought it would be nice to meet some women artists, so I started looking for them," she said. 

With the help of her late husband, Mary met two Balinese art experts in the hope they would introduce her to some women artists. The men made two comments which she remembers to this day. 

"What they said was unbelievable. One of them told me: "Oh, there aren't any women artists here. Balinese women have no sense of colour". The other man said, "Balinese women don't like to get their hands dirty".

"I found that unacceptable, there had to be local women who could paint, I thought."

She decided to look for these artists herself and eventually discovered some after visiting a few villages. The next question was- where would they exhibit their art?

"My husband owned some property next to his studio and I asked him whether they could use it to show their work. He was very sweet and gave it to me on condition that I cleaned it. He'd had the property for 30-odd years and never cleaned it!" 

Setting up the gallery in 1991 was surprisingly easy. The local community was open to the idea and Abdul Aziz was particularly encouraging.  "He always made sure I had enough money for the gallery. He was wonderfully supportive. Having studied with women at the Academy of Fine Arts in Rome, he knew how important equality was." 

Mary's work in Bali hasn't gone unnoticed. On June 22 of this year, she was made a Member of the Order of the British Empire at an investiture ceremony at Buckingham Palace.  

Seniwati Gallery was the last I visited in a string of art museums and showrooms in Ubud. The paintings were refreshing, exuded warmth and - if art can be described as such - not intimidating. 

Mary said that was probably because women paint differently from men. "They never portray themselves as sexual objects. They paint subjects like nature, motherhood, children, pregnancy. These are things which a man can never understand and therefore, paint. 

"Their art is also easily understood; they paint straightforward things. It's great to look at a painting and understand immediately what the artist was thinking."

Seniwati (made up to two words: 'seni'- art and 'wati'- women) isn't just a gallery, it's also an art academy of sorts. Every year, 40 schoolgirls are selected to join their annual art workshops.

"The girls are happy just being able to paint. The locals are also caught up with the whole thing. They take notice when their girls win art competitions. They come up to me and say "Ibu Mary, my niece is in your workshop", and they say it with so much pride. That surely must mean that things are changing." 

The happiest spot in the gallery is the foyer where the children's paintings hang. The paintings are colourful, vibrant and full of minute details - the batik print on a mother's sarong, the checks in a father's shirt and the different shades of green in a rice field. Few visitors leave unimpressed when they find out that the gallery's youngest artist is only six years old. 

Does Mary plan to return to England? 

"No, there's no hope that I would settle down there! I decided that a long time ago. My family loved my husband, their only regret was that we lived so far away. I do go back to England to see the family, but Bali is so much more enriching. This is home now," she said, sinking contentedly into her sofa. 

So the next time you find yourself in Ubud, Bali, ask for directions to Ibu Mary's place. Chances are you'll find a proud parent, uncle or aunt more than willing to bring you there. 

Where in Bali? 

SENIWATI Gallery of Art by Women is open daily (except Mondays) from 10am-5pm and is situated at Jalan Sriwedari 2B, Banjar Taman, Ubud, Bali. 

Except for the gallery's permanent art collection, items available for sale include paintings, calendars, bookmarks and umbrellas. For details, contact 0361-975485 (phone & fax) or e-mail seniwati@dps.centrin.net.id. Visit the gallery's website here.