The birth of a road trip

In October 2009, a group of friends and I flew into San Francisco, rented a car, drove to Los Angeles, acquired another car, and drove to Boston. After Boston we took a bus south to New York City and from there went on to Washington, DC.

Our journey looked like this:

©Burzum

Before our (pretty long) drive I had never gone on a road trip let alone visited the US, so the idea of driving over such a large expanse of land was both very exciting and a little daunting. The great thing about travelling nowadays, though, is the wealth of information that's available for the taking. As long as you know how to search for the information you need, you're almost guaranteed of finding it. 

Like most road trips, or trips in general, the route we eventually took wasn't pre-planned. My friends and I knew that we would be flying into San Francisco and flying out of DC, but we hadn't entirely decided what was going to happen in between. We knew that we would be stopping in Los Angeles, Austin, Memphis and New York City, but other than that, the route was still very much a mystery. 

It was only when we were in LA that our route was finally mapped out. I still remember that day; three of us were in our hotel dining area, either on our laptops or having coffee when the fourth member of our group came across a website called Auto Driveaway. This company does something rather interesting- it relocates or delivers vehicles from anywhere in the US to another location in the country. Vehicles, whether they be trucks, bikes or cars, are transported across the country pretty regularly for various reasons. Maybe a large national corporation wants to transport a company car from one branch to another, for instance, so it contacts Auto Driveaway.

But the really special thing about this company is that it doesn't transport the vehicles - you do it. You do the delivering. The company connects customers who want their vehicles delivered with people who don't mind driving it to the collection point. It was that link, that connection, which allowed us to figure out our route.

We found out from Auto Driveaway that there was lady living in LA who wanted her Jeep delivered to her daughter in Boston. It was like magic. We looked at our map, saw the great distance in between and took less than five seconds to say yes, we would so love to drive this lady's car all the way to Boston. 

Which we did. At the end of our road trip, we drove a total of 5,380 miles (8,658 kilometres) through 14  states. 

Far from brave

I'm always embarrassed -and at times, a little worried- whenever friends and family members (usually much older women) tell me how brave I am to go off and travel by myself. I cringe when they say things like that because courage or bravery has nothing to do with it.

What comes across as bravery is nothing more than wanting something really badly, setting out to do it and preparing for it. It's a terrible cliche, but I'm a bundle of nerves every time I go off somewhere new. I worry about slipping and falling to my death while hiking (I have wonky feet), I worry about hurting my back (that's wonky, too) and the thought of being assaulted or robbed scares me like crazy (as the title of this blog suggests, I have short legs and can't run very fast).

That is not how a brave person thinks. 

So in order to 'make' myself brave, I read as much as I can about the country or city I'm going to, which is actually what every traveller does. I do this so that I won't be fumbling through any maps at the airport- I'll already know which train to take into the city, where to take it and how much it costs. If I have to get down at a train station, I'll know exactly how to get to my hotel so that I won't look nervous or lost and become an easy target.

To make sure I don't hurt my back, I simply don't carry a heavy rucksack and come equipped with whatever painkillers that are necessary. And what about being robbed and chased? I don't make it a habit to hang out in dark alleys, which is actually pure common sense. 

The idea of taking a taxi alone after dark in a strange city freaks me out, so if I'm going out late, I make it a point to know when the last train or bus leaves. I can't imagine anything worse than not being able to get back to your hotel at night.

So, yeah. I'm not brave. In fact, I'm a complete scaredy cat. 

Love is in the air

Sites like We Met on a Plane make me smile, cringe and groan all at once. 

Have you ever 'connected' with someone on a flight but never had the chance to get his or her contact details? It's something like what I wrote here, but it's a bit more than that. Someone caught your eye and you think (or you'd like to think) that he might've noticed you too. Maybe it was a smile, whatever, but that was all that happened and weeks and months later, you still can't get that person out of your head.

Well, this is where 'We Met on a Plane' comes to the rescue. Travellers can submit their flight details- flight numbers, dates, departure and arrival points- together with a short paragraph or two on the person they'd like to re-connect with and the circumstances of their meeting.

I wanted to get an idea of the type of stories posted, so I clicked on 'Top Voted' on the website. They range from sweet to over-dramatic to completely emotional, the last being something I imagine would appear between the pages of the 'Twilight' books. Which I've never actually read, of course.

The site, which was set up by Australian businessman Will Scully-Power, has yet to declare a match. Thirty per cent of visitors, however, apparently stay for more than 10 minutes, either reading the stories like I did or making use of the search function. 

So what was Will's inspiration behind the website? He met his Kiwi girlfriend on a flight from Langkawi to Sydney in July 2011. She was supposed to fly direct to Auckland but upon checking in, was informed of a last-minute change: her plane would be stopping in Sydney, which incidentally, was where Will was going. If her flight hadn't been rerouted, she probably never would have met him. 

So go on then, go check out the stories.

Flat feet, bad back

I have flat feet, which means two things. I cannot wear high heels for too long, neither can I walk for too long. Because my feet have no arches, they get tired and start to hurt way before all the other perfect feet around me do.

My feet started hurting when I was 13, which is also when I realised that I was the only one in my class who didn't play any sports. I couldn't run to save my life because running hurt too much after a while. That was me in school, completely unsporty and boring. And I still can't run. I haven't run 'properly' in years; even on the treadmill, I only brisk walk.

Now, as if that weren't enough, I also have a bad lower back. I'm sure it was the dodgy feet which came first because I only started getting back pain in 2002. When the pain got unbearable, my doctor arranged for an X-ray and when we got the results, I saw it. There was a curve in my spine, bending to the left and straight back again when it should have been straight all the way. I've got scoliosis- a curvature of the spine. It's not serious but I have it, and it hurts sometimes.

It's when I travel that I'm most reminded of my feet and my back, particularly because of the kind of travel that I enjoy. I carry a rucksack and I enjoy walking, so eventually my back, my knees and and my ankles will start to hurt. And that's when I need these. 

Those who have flat feet (also known as pes planus, or 'fallen arches') should do what I do:

1- Use orthotic foot arch inserts 

These are placed inside your shoes so when your feet is resting on them, a false arch is created. These really work for me, especially when I'm walking a lot. There are many types but the best (and most expensive) are those which are custom-made for you based on a plaster cast of your feet. Please, please look after your custom-made inserts because if you lose them, you'll need to make another pair. 

2- Don't walk for too long

Take a break from walking every half hour or so, your feet need to rest. If I'm wearing inserts and a good pair of shoes, I can normally go on for a hour, but 30 minutes is usually just right for me.

3- Use good shoes 

This may sound uppity, but I cannot wear 'cheap' shoes. If you have flat feet, you can still get by without orthotic inserts if you at least have shoes with a cushioned arch, which the more expensive brands tend to have. These really make a difference.

If you suffer from back pain, this is for you:

1- Don't sit for too long

When you sit, especially when you don't change position, what you're actually doing is putting pressure on your back. For a person with a normal back, that's no big deal, but when you have a back problem, that's not good news. Get up and walk around every 20 minutes. It doesn't matter what you do- go to the bathroom or grab a cookie from the kitchen, just make sure that you get out of your chair for five minutes. This may be difficult on long flights and train and bus rides, but you need to try.

2- Don’t carry rucksacks which are too heavy

This is my biggest headache of all because I enjoy backpacking. Over the years, I've learnt to limit the weight of my rucksack to 10kgs. Unfortunately I can't always keep it this low, what with the souvenirs and other stuff that I collect on my trips. When this happens, I divide the contents between my rucksack and daysack, which I carry in my hands.

3- Always use the hip buckle on your rucksack

There's a reason why the hip buckle is there -it's to anchor the weight of your rucksack to your body. Try this: fill up a rucksack and put it on your shoulders and walk around without securing the hip buckle. Now, secure the buckle and walk for a bit. You'll feel a distinct difference in the weight of the rucksack the second time around - it's much easier to carry with the hip buckle fastened, which means it's better for your back.

4- When you carry your rucksack, make sure it rests against your back

There should be no space, no air between the rucksack and your body when you're carrying it on your shoulders. Look in the mirror to check. If the rucksack doesn't rest flat against your back, tighten the straps so that it does. When your pack isn't close to your body, that means it's sagging and pulling you down, adding pressure on your back. If your rucksack is snug against you, it 'becomes' a part of you. 

Have a good trip!

Getting rid of first-time travel jitters

I remember the first time I travelled alone- I was scared, excited, nervous, convinced that I would be getting into trouble but absolutely sure that it was something I had to do, no matter what.

Ten years later, I have no regrets taking that first leap and would never have had it any other way.

Here are my tips for women who are contemplating travelling solo but are a little unsure whether they should:

1- Start small

Everyone wants to start off with a bang, but I would suggest that your first solo trip be somewhere in your own country, preferably to a place you've never been to or have only been to as a child- this way, the trip will still be exciting and different.

The purpose of of travelling within your country but in unfamiliar territory is that it will be a combination of being out of your comfort zone yet not entirely foreign because you'll still be speaking your language and using your currency. You can move on to more challenging countries later but for now, what's important is that you build your confidence and courage.

2- Do your homework

The main reason why people feel nervous about travelling alone is because they're unprepared. They worry about basic things like how to use public transport and whether it'll be safe to walk at night. There's a very simple solution to this- do a whole lot of reading about the city/country you're going to. Compile contact numbers of your embassy or high commission, nearby 24-hour hospitals and emergency services.

Don't forget to do a Google search on local customs, dangerous places to avoid (night and day) and how to avoid unwanted male attention. You'll feel more confident after you equip yourself with this information, guaranteed.

3- Reassure the folks at home

My parents needed a whole lot of convincing before I left on my first trip, which is to be expected. What's important is that you mustn't get discouraged or have second thoughts when they ask questions like, "Do you really have to go alone?" or "Can't you find anyone to go with you?".  Instead, reassure them that because you've done a lot of reading, you'll be okay.

What I normally do is to text them as soon as I arrive at my destination and again later after I've checked in. After that, I send emails or text messages every two days not only to tell them that I'm still alive but also to prove to them that I really can look after myself. If you can reassure them that you're capable of travelling alone, they won't doubt you and you won't have any reason to doubt yourself.

4- No, you won't be alone

If you're worried that you won't meet anyone and won't make any new friends, don't. There's never been a country I didn't visit where I didn't meet fellow travellers. You'll never be the only traveller in the country you're in (if you are, that's a sure sign you need to get out of there fast), so get ready to exchange email addresses and postcards.

Be warned, of course, that just like in everyday life, you'll meet all sorts of people on your travels. Your own common sense should tell you whom you can trust. If your instincts tell you to avoid a particular person, listen to them and find a new friend. 

5- Will I be all right?

Yes, you will be, if you do the following:

(i) avoid dangerous areas, which you'll discover from your research;

(ii) stay in at night unless you're with a group of people you've learnt to trust; and

(iii) keep note of the last bus or Metro service so that you know when to start heading back to your hostel.

It also makes perfect sense not to:

(iv) wear flashy, expensive accessories (jewellery and watches);

(v) flash your money or credit card(s) about and

(vi) carry expensive-looking bags. Sometimes one of those woven shopping bags will do just fine.

At all times: Keep your senses about you and be aware of your surroundings. If you think you're being followed, walk towards the nearest group and hang around them for a while.

So should I go, or what?

Yes, young lady, you should. Go. I did.

*This article originally appeared here on August 23, 2011.

How impulsive is solo travel? Not really, actually

Whenever I tell my friends and family that I'm planning another solo trip, they always react as though it's the most impulsive thing to do. I imagine that this is the scenario in their heads: I'm working late in the office, there are piles of stories to go through and I'm starving from lack of food when all of a sudden, I erupt and scream at the top of my lungs: "I'm sick of this shit!! I'm booking a flight out next week!"

Nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone who's done a fair bit of travelling by themselves will know that there's nothing impulsive about it. It may take a single thought to spark off another trip but the fact is that many people who love to travel can spend months planning and mulling over the details.

If it's a straightforward one-week trip in roughly one area, there won't be much to read up on. But if it's a long-haul overland or round the world trip, important issues such as routes, visas and where the best/most scenic/baksheesh-free border crossings are, will arise. It's this part of the planning which I truly enjoy and tend to spend the most time on.

My main concern when I travel is always safety, so I normally do a lot of research on places to avoid and whatever security issues there are in the countries I'm going to. If I feel that the current political situation is going to make things worse, then I ditch that country and decide on another, and the whole process starts all over again.

What I find most ironic is that trips which seem the most impulsive, the ones where you drop-everything-and-leave always require the most amount of planning. If you're taking more than 12 months off, for example, among the questions you'll need to ask are whether you should sell your house or quit your job, or both. And if you're selling, where are you going to stay when you get back?

So although people think those who love to travel alone are a brave and impulsive bunch, we aren't really, are we. There's a whole lot of planning involved....but don't tell them that.

Love on the road

You're sitting in the airport departure lounge where tinkly muzak is wafting through the air as you wait to board your plane. You turn to your right and notice a mysterious, smoking hot stranger a few seats away. Your eyes meet for a few magical seconds, time stands still and the first thought that enters your mind is, "Oh, wow. I wonder if we'll have a chance to get together".

I'm exaggerating, of course, but you know what I mean. We've all experienced this- gone on holiday, locked eyes with a good-looking stranger and almost immediately, considered running away with this person.

It's a given that you have better chances of meeting someone when you're travelling by yourself. Whether you're a guy or a girl, if you're alone in a foreign land, you instantly become more attractive and 'available' to both locals and fellow travellers. It's got nothing to do with how you look. Even the most average-looking person under five feet two (yes, that would be me) can attract a second glance if he or she happens to look different from everyone else.

So should you or should you not, take things further with someone you've just met on holiday? By all means, go ahead if you want to. I did- I'm keeping in touch, long distance, with a guy I went out with while overseas recently, but what's important is not to expect too much.

In fact, one shouldn't expect anything to come out of it:

1- No matter how well both of you clicked, that might just be IT. Full stop.

I met Andrew from Ireland at Vientiane airport on my way back home a few years back. Coincidentally, he was also headed for Kuala Lumpur so we started chatting and ended up sitting next to each other on the plane. We enjoyed each other's company so much that we sat together in a shuttle bus from the airport and exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers. When he called a day later  from a public phone (he couldn't use his mobile) and asked to meet up, I wasn't free so I asked him to call the following day. I never heard from him.

2-  If you're a single female, always keep your wits about you

Everything is wonderful when you're travelling. You're happy to be away from home and the skies aren't just blue, they're glorious. Every day is an adventure, every flower is beautiful, every bird singing a symphony- you get the picture. It's normal to let your guard down when you're away, but try not to let that happen, especially when you know nothing about the person you've just met.

3- First impressions can be (very) deceiving 

At times I wonder whether I leave my sense of judgment behind when I'm on holiday, and I'm speaking from experience here. Be wary when you make plans to meet up with someone you met while travelling because you might be disappointed when you meet him or her again. This goes back to how travel makes everything seem fascinating. In a foreign environment, anyone who is different from you is 'exotic' and 'interesting'. That cute backpacker whose habit of saying,"You know what I mean? You know what I mean?" after every sentence, which you found so endearing in Mongolia, can have the opposite effect back home. The same person who took your breath away on holiday can turn out to be a pretentious idiot when you return to real life. Be prepared for "What the hell was I thinking??" moments.

4-Having said that...

If you can remind yourself to be realistic and not expect too much, just go out and have fun.

What makes a good travel companion?

Sunset over the Mekong, Laos

Ask me which I prefer between solo or group travel 50 years down the line, and I guarantee that I will lift my withered, sagging arms with whatever strength I have left and croak, "Go solo!" as loud as I can.

Travelling with others is fun, but there's nothing quite like waking up and deciding where you want to go, whenever you like. There's no need to wait for the shower or for anyone else to wake up. Even enjoying a sunset by yourself can be magical.

Venice Beach, USA

Having said that, some of my best memories are of the times I travelled with friends. Suddenly, I had people to speak to and laugh and have meals with. I no longer had to ask strangers to take my photograph just to prove to the people at home that for crying out loud, yes, I was there and did see that damn mountain.

Group travel also has its practical benefits: you get to divide your costs, distribute baggage weight if necessary and in many instances, it's also much safer.

Once you've decided that you're going to travel with someone, the next big question is of course, who's it going to be. I'm very selective on whom I invite on a trip. That may sound obnoxious and selfish, but if I'm going to spend money on a plane ticket and accommodation, I want to make sure that I don't end up being miserable with a travel companion from hell.

So what makes a good travel mate? It's not an easy question to answer, but I know who won't make a good travel companion.

Compatibility
The thing about a good travel partner is that quite simply, both of you just have to be compatible. He or she doesn't have to be your BFF or that best friend you've known for 20 years. All that's needed is that both of you respect each other and are considerate. I once booked (what was supposed to be) a one-month InterRail trip in Europe with someone whom I thought was my best friend until she suddenly took over and insisted on making all the decisions from which route to take to which hostels to stay at. The last straw was when, two weeks into the trip, she sheepishly told me that she only had £10 in her pocket and couldn't go on any further. She didn't admit it, but I knew that she'd blown all her cash on unnecessary and expensive souvenirs. We're talking about a watch from Geneva and t-shirts from every single city we stopped at. And how much did I have left? Ten times what she had: £100. Being students, none of us had credit cards- we brought only cash and travellers cheques, so what else could we do but to return to the UK. She's still a friend on Facebook, but we don't have much to talk about anymore.

Does he like how you travel?
If you've never liked someone to begin with, chances are you're still not going to like him if you travel with him. Likewise, if someone rants about how he abhors street traders and beggars, that should serve as a warning sign that he probably can't go to countries with issues like poverty or homelessness. A few years ago, I let slip to someone that I was planning to go to Tibet via the Beijing-Lhasa Express, a journey that would take 48 hours by train. She immediately perked up and said she was interested in following me, a statement which puzzles me to this day. Just a few weeks earlier, she had complained of being 'harassed' by vendors and taxi drivers in Bali, a place I love dearly and would fly to at the drop of a hat. If someone cannot handle vendors in Bali, there is no way he or she can deal with two days of train travel, sub-zero temperatures and altitude sickness on the Tibetan Plateau. Your mission would be to find another person who can.

Don't stand so close to me
I'm a firm believer of the idea that even though you might travel with someone, you don't have to be with that person 24/7 unless that's how you want it. Out of the numerous trips I've taken over the past 11 years, four of them were with friends. I enjoyed their company, but I would always yearn to be alone after a few days. In order to successfully breakaway from your travel partner for a few hours every day, you need someone who will allow you to do so. In other words, both of you must be independent souls to begin with. Having to deal with a travel mate who is clingy and insists on doing everything together, every single day, can spoil the rest of the trip. To prevent this from happening, look for someone who appreciates your need for some alone time, or whatever it is that you want out of the trip.

Or you could simply choose not to deal with any of these issues and go by yourself.

Sorry- what time is it again?

Tomorrow, Sunday the 13th, people in the US and Canada will be setting their clocks an hour ahead, marking the start of daylight saving time for them.

The whole idea, or so I've been told, is to allow more daylight hours in spring and summer for countries which observe daylight savings. I understand the logic, but I've never really been able to reconcile the act of 'changing' time just like that.

If one can simply add or subtract hours to your day by fiddling with one's watches, does time even matter at all, since you're messing around with it? If whole nations can collectively agree to, dare I say it- manipulate- time, what time exactly is it right now? Am I writing this at 11.45 pm Malaysian time on Saturday night or is this actually 12.45 in the morning?

I know, I'm going into serious Matrix territory here.

Everyone gets a kick out of setting their watches whenever they land in a new time zone. I remember having to do that four times in the US alone. When we landed in San Francisco, it was Pacific Time, then late one night as we were driving from Nevada to Arizona, we saw a road sign telling us that we'd just entered Mountain Time.

Mountain Time? We'd never heard of it before, but it sounded cool.

As we drove from west to east, we entered Central time when we reached Texas in a few days and about a week after that when we crossed into North Carolina, Eastern time.

It goes without saying that if you happen to be overseas in early spring or autumn, you need to be aware if the country you're visiting observes daylight savings. This is especially so if you're from equatorial Asia or Africa, where although many are aware of daylight savings, there's no need for it in those countries, making it something which one might overlook.

It's also important to note that the European Union doesn't observe daylight savings on the same date as North America. Countries in the EU turn their clocks forward on the last Sunday in March, a week later than the US and Canada.

Don't make the mistake which some friends and I did on a trip to Italy. We had planned to visit the ruins at Pompeii, which is a three-hour train ride from Rome. We woke up early, had breakfast and made our way to Termini station. I had even memorised how to say "From which platform does the train to Pompeii leave?" in Italian.

When we got there, we discovered that there was only one departure on Sundays and that the train had left 15 minutes ago, although we had set out from our hostel early enough. So why did that happen?

That was Sunday, March 26, 2000, the day on which all the clocks in Italy moved an hour forward. Which means that when we arrived at the train station at what we thought was 8 am, for the whole of Europe, it was already 9 o' clock.

In planning our trip, we had completely forgotten to pay attention to this important detail. Unfortunately, that day was also our last full day in Rome, so we never got to visit Pompeii or see Mount Vesuvius.

So back to my question: if you can mess around with time, does time really matter any more? Doesn't it lose its significance, if that's the case?

Oh look, it's Sunday already.

You go, girl

Seeing the world is great fun, but how do you look after yourself on the road, especially if you're a female travelling alone?

Women have a different set of concerns when they're out and about. Unless you're built like Grace Jones, the average female is physically weaker than the average male. And being a diminutive -very well then, short-  Asian woman who cannot run to save her life, I always spend the last few weeks leading up to a solo trip worrying about my safety and security.

Women have to be extra careful and more aware of their surroundings compared to men- is anyone following you, or has someone walking in front of you slowed down for no reason? Unwanted male attention is also likely, particularly if you stand out or look different from the women in the countries you'll be visiting.

The Internet is full of websites which cater to women's travel, but I'm only going to recommend two which I read and follow quite religiously -Journeywoman  and WanderlustandLipstick. Both websites are great resources not only for women who choose to travel alone, but also for those who want a better idea of women-related issues on the countries they're going to.

What one will realise after several solo trips is that it has nothing to do with having enough 'courage', but in actual fact, it is simply about having enough confidence. It's not so much about being brave, but it's about being well-informed about local safety-related issues: what time the last train or bus is, what time the sun sets so that you won't get caught out after dark and what areas to avoid in the city you're going to. If you know things like this before you leave home, you'll be confident enough to go and fingers crossed, you'll be fine.

Safety and security risks should never deter a woman from travelling alone but instead, should make her want to go even more.